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County

by ALAMODALITY

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1.
new day, i'm not here. because it's cannabis stores all over the downtown, and you walk in the bank and they give you a frown, like why. and i'm going to the bank with my headphones on, and everyones a robot so nobody cares, but why. oh, and if i say it does that make it true? cause i had no phone on the ice hill, by flesh it's been 10 years, then she fell off the bone, evaporate me by proxy, your bones get alive as we get old. what brings us life tears us down, it's not even funny where are we now. i'm not that great. 36 degrees, lights-out-on-the-bed, it is 4pm and i have to make something new everyday. i'm new everyday, and you're nothing, and i'm nothing new. new day.
2.
Gap Tooth 02:49
in some regard im hiding from you in the night. nd i dont care if you eat my bones and turn me into stew, i dont want you. but all these actions sum to something greater only in my mind, its called life. (how could you kill this world, it's so: great, cool, beautiful). in some regard im crying, in some regard im dying. am i still that kid, who didnt know anymore than the first block, i cant remember, am i still that kid, who didnt know anything great.
3.
it's always raining here, sheets of ice on the road, all the turfgrass frozen into stupid invasive icecubes. buckthorn everywhere, can't even learn to go astray. easy to write in dadgad, but i should be learning pollard songs, or title fight riffs, or simply happily reading a book. the shrink tells me, keep my cell phone, i will throw it out. i wish this was poetry, but it's just distortion. i'm just checking if you're listening to me, oh lord. not everything is interesting, that's what makes everything interesting.
4.
one way's decided at once, no tomorrow. there is only one way to count nothing. my kitty's got some friends but no love, my kitty can't cry no more, i said my kitty can't cry no more. and all i've said is all i've wanted. i know a place where we can go to stay, i know a place i can go far away, i know a place where it's just you and me, i know a place away from time's centuries.
5.
Green 02:27
ill just drink my coffee descend into the ivy ill romanticize all the atrophy paper feedback and sleep haunt the paths that i weep and ill just trudge this way lipogrammatically how about we live mythically yeah. driving down the road of life going slow check the rearview what counts as giving up stab the compass well im asking a question but dont worry im easy. untethered this pole soars outta place uncrying in the light of a miracle. cause every night i die in the light. spring summer night.
6.
Gullible 03:48
blue library, computer lab, indeterminate sky and some parallel universe; universe is ℝ, and this breaks the bridge, (i dunno, dude, i'm not an engineer) in this world, am i gullible enough to believe this? round it up anyways, i'm doing something here, or it is all kayfabe, just a stupid hobby. let's fake otherness here, let's break ourselves into paint; let's leaven our craniums, lithium, selenium. o alackaday, it's not some life greater. it's anything to be okay to be anything alive when the existential threats become promises. ... and how much of this did you just believe? how much of this did you just bereave? and how much of all this is just belief? oh you thought it just stops and starts and boom, oh you thought there was just another afternoon, oh you just thought itd slap you in the face, oh you thought you could just think it all away. (that should be found...)
7.
Hack (Demo) 02:49
(anything) when i wake up in the morning my back hurts, and i step no further to any resolution; hit the snooze button like a mosquito: feed myself denials of death. when you look up in the stars in this city, you just see the reflection of peoplestuff. i just want to see the stars (well i do, well i dont), not the reminder of why i'm looking. when i wake up in the morning i'm a fucking hack. when i go to bed at night i'm a fucking hack. and let me call myself a fucking hack. (oh i feel myself getting much further now, from that moment i don't remember. oh i feel myself getting much closer now, to that moment i wont remember.) i can't live like this. washing dishes with the love you've given to me, replaying the value of the strophic form of life. when i ask it will i ask cause the same cause i know. is it great? no. is it safe? no. is it sane? no. i can't live like this.
8.
i can't see love anymore, i dunno what for, it's just a chore, to be somewhere, you; it's alright, everything's alright, all is well, or is it? cause i've been alone without nothing to keep me insane. say swear words and: make an exit, leave a message. i can't see life anymore, i dunno what for, it's all so boring and it's just perfect. everything's alright, or is it? in the night i'm twenty years: of wasted time, and i've been alone. and i'll just go to bed and be tonight. it's more radical than apples. in the night i'll go to sleep and i'll just be another being. what's wrong with me? or is it?

about

recorded with a whole bunch of miscellany, some connor's (tracks 1,3,8) but mostly mine. and our star players are a custom guitar named andy, a sterling axis, a roland gaia, connor's mystery-modded jay turser vintage series bass and a yamaha trbx174 with 1cm action onto a tascam dp008ex -> audacity -> reaper -> audacity june 2023 - jan 07 2024.

credits

released January 12, 2024

lukas jablonski - all (writing instruments 'engineer' 'mix' etc), except for:
connor sheppard - co-engineering on tracks 1,3,8, synth patch on tracks 1,8
logan - synth patch on tracks 1,6,8
spe-shul thanks: connor, family, laci, max, harrison, logan, randall, roommates.

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alamodality Guelph, Ontario

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